I, Lily Evans
by Ninja C
Summary: In which Lily discovers magic, experiences two starkly different meetings, and gets owl poop on her rug. Oneshot.


**I, Lily Evans**

**I'm on a oneshot kick. Don't judge me.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, no.**

I, Lily Evans, am freaked out.

I find an envelope in my eggs this morning. That in itself isn't all that extraordinary, as Mum is a bit scrambled herself. The thing is, the envelope is clean. No eggs at all!

But the weirder part is what's _inside_ the envelope. I am now apparently enrolled at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this September instead of at a boarding school in America.

I, Lily Evans, think Hogwarts is hogwash.

So then this man named "Dumbledore" shows up and assures me that:

1. I am not crazy.

2. I am a witch.

3. I am, in fact, going to Hogwash – I mean, Hogwarts.

4. I am not crazy.

I, Lily Evans, say this is all a dream and I will wake up momentarily.

But no, instead I am awoken the next day by an owl – a bloody _owl!_ – flying through my open window and perching on my head. Petunia screams and runs out of our shared bedroom. I lie there, unmoving, and wait for it to get off me. It does so, hops to the end of my bed, and sticks out its leg. A letter is tied with a leather thong.

I remove the letter, and the owl just swoops away. But not before nicking my arm with its talon in ascent and soiling my rug.

I, Lily Evans, _hate owls_.

The letter details my pre-planned day in a place called Diagon Alley. While the name is comically close to "diagonally", I am not particularly keen on going, as I don't know where it is or how to get there.

A knock on the door filters up the stairs, and I dash down to answer, hoping that the letter will just disappear when I come back up.

"May I he - " I open the door and stop midsentence, gawping at the titanic mass blocking all light from the doorway.

I, Lily Evans, have never seen anything as massive as this visitor.

"Hullo, little missy," a voice growls from somewhere below the crinkled eyes as the stranger practically sits down to see into the hall. "You must be the Lily girl I've been sent to - "

"MUMMY!" I scream down the hall. She comes running.

We sit through an explanation from the man, Hagrid, whom I believe is a giant (hey, if wizards exist…). The owl was supposed to have arrived yesterday, so I would've had some advance notice that he was to escort me to get all my school things.

Since he's already here, I really can't refuse.

We take the Underground, during which I neither speak to or make eye contact with Hagrid. He chatters to fill the awkward silence.

Finally, we climb the steps of a rickety-looking pub called the Leaky Cauldron. I'd never known it existed.

"Hullo, John!" Hagrid calls as soon as we walk through the door. I maintain my silence.

I, Lily Evans, can hold a grudge.

A burly man waves back to Hagrid, and makes his way over to us, a thin boy in tow. The boy smiles at me, and he looks so nice, even in his wizard attire (cloak? robes?), that I smile back.

Hagrid and the man, presumably the boy's father, engage in conversation, which we soon do ourselves.

"Hi, I'm Remus," says Remus.

"Lily."

"You're a Muggleborn, aren't you?"

"What's a Muggleborn?"

Remus' eyes smile. "Then, yes, I'd say you are."

"No, seriously, what's a Muggleborn?" I find it easy to talk to this boy.

"It means your parents aren't wizards."

"Oh."

I, Lily Evans, am apparently a Muggleborn.

I notice that Remus is holding a book at his side. I enjoy a good book myself, so I ask, "What are you reading?"

"_The Harmony of Alchemists_," he replies, handing it to me, and before I can ask what it's about, Hagrid's hand is on my shoulder, and he's booming, "We'd best be on our way. Nice to chat, John."

"It was nice meeting you," I say, and hand Remus back the book.

"Likewise." He takes the alchemical book, and off we go.

I, Lily Evans, think I've made a friend.

Hagrid splits the brick wall in the alleyway out back of the Leaky Cauldron. I stand in awe of what is before me.

The first thing I see is a huge white building around the corner of the lane. I point at it, tug on Hagrid's sleeve, and speak to him for the first time. "What's _that_?"

"Tha's Gringotts. Wizard bank. We'll be going there now, get your money."

We make the exchange, and then I'm staring at buildings of all sorts: Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor; Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions; and then we pass a store called Flourish and Blott's. What makes me notice it is the book on display in the window. _The Harmony of Alchemists_.

I've stopped walking, so Hagrid says, "We'll go in here first, get yer schoolbooks an' the like. You can look around, if yeh want ter."

I'm inside the store before he finishes his sentence.

I, Lily Evans, have never seen so many books.

I, Lily Evans, have also never before felt such splitting pain in my head.

"Watch it!" I snap at a black-haired boy into whom I've just run.

"Sorry, sorry," he apologizes, giving me his hand. I ignore it. People are staring and pointing at the fallen girl in the middle of the floor.

I, Lily Evans, have never been so humiliated in my life.

"I'm James Potter," the boy says, recognizing that I'm not going to take his hand.

"What you are is hapless," I snarl.

"Well, what I _will_ be is a Gryffindor," he retorts proudly. "Haplessness is for Hufflepuffs."

I scowl back at him, knowing he's being very insulting even though I've no clue what a Hufflepuff is. "Don't be so _crass_, Potter."

He looks down at me, says, "You'll probably be in Hufflepuff, seeing as how you've run into me _and_ knocked over a pile of books."

I look at him, incredulous. "_What?_ I've _never_ knocked over a pile of books." I try to stand back up, to face this like a woman. Of course, I just fall right back down, only this time, I knock over a towering stack of books with my elbow, and they all proceed to fall on my head. James Potter leaves, a smirk on his face.

I, Lily Evans, stand corrected.

**(Hint: the "stand corrected" thing refers to both the last "I, Lily Evans…" and the "never knocked over a pile of books".)**

**I hope you liked it. I found it in an older notebook and decided to polish it up. An appropriate greeting to summer, I should think. :)**


End file.
